From Tech Millionaire to Self-Experiment: Living as an Upgrade
Some people go on diets. Others start fitness programs. Bryan Johnson, however, chose something far more radical – a metamorphosis. Once a tech millionaire, he has turned himself into a self-proclaimed upgrade of the human species – a living operating system that prefers data tracking to birthday cake.
Welcome to the World’s Most Expensive Upgrade: Bryan Johnson v1.0
For the price of a private jet, you get a man who refuses to age like the rest of us.
SPECS:
– Processor: Human brain, running on Kernel support
– RAM: 111 supplements daily
– Battery: 8 hours of sleep, zero alcohol, zero sugar – virtually infinite
– OS: “Blueprint 3.2” – with bug fixes whenever the skin gets too wrinkly
What It Can Do
– Organs as good as new
– Fitness stats that terrify personal trainers
– A lifestyle that sounds like an Elon Musk experiment – minus the rockets
User Experience
It only works if you’re ready to turn yourself into a spreadsheet.
Emotional features (pizza, beer, spontaneous nights out) are, unfortunately, not compatible.
Conclusion
A human as an iPhone update – fascinating, expensive, and hardly practical.
For early adopters who think mortality is an outdated feature.
Rating: ★★★★☆☆☆ (7/10)
Impressive to look at, but the warranty conditions remain unclear.
